Aunt Bossy's Guide to the Gym with the related story "Aunt Bossy Learns to Brush Her Hair"

OK, folks--here it is: the post where I explain how I get to the gym & get ready without 1.) too much hassle 2.) too much embarrassment and 3.) not enough essential items, i.e. deodorant and the like. The over-arching goal of my morning routine is to be as efficient as possible. I need to be at work by 7:00 a.m., so I need to be on my way out of the gym by 6:30 a.m. There's not much time to be shaved off of my workout, so any & all time savings must come from the "getting ready" portion of the experience. So with that in mind, here is what I do:

The most essential component is my gym bag. It's big & red and has 2 side zipper compartments, a zippered front pocket, and an open back pocket. I also bring my clothes in a garment bag; both items are packed and placed in my car the night before.

So, in order to cart all of the necessary hygiene/beauty products and access them easily, I first organized the gym bag. One side compartment has wrinkle releaser spray, cologne (if they break/spill then they won't ruin the items inside the bag) & combination lock.

The other side compartment has feminine products. (No picture--holy TMI, Batman!) The front pocket has my shampoo, poofie, razor, & lint brush.

The back pocket has my i-pod and my gym membership card; the lack of zipper means easy access to both items.

Inside the gym bag is my "big bag o' beauty," my shoes, underwear, a plastic bag for smelly clothes, and the piece de resistance: a swimsuit cover-up (the wadded-up black thing in the picture).

Why a swimsuit cover-up? So I can trot to & from the showers in modesty. A bathrobe would be too bulky, towels don't fit around me yet unless they are beach towels and again--too bulky. So I happened upon the cover-up solution, and it works great. And figuring out how to be modest without dressing in the shower area (drop your underwear and it's not going to be a good day) was a really important piece of the "get ready at the gym" puzzle.

The "big bag o' beauty" is a large purple bag (one of those "free gifts with cosmetic purchase" from years ago) that has my make-up bag, deodorant, my hairdryer, brushes, and hair product.

I grab the bag & carry it over to the counter to get ready--no walking over with a zillion small items in my arms to drop & pick up. Because again, EFFICIENCY IS KEY. Even my make-up bag was chosen to be more time-effective: it's a soft, zippered pencil case ($2.00 at Walmart). That way I can open it up & clearly see all of the contents; fishing around in a bag for things is a waste of time and I have no time to waste in the morning.

Speaking of wasted time, I do not wash my towels--I purchased the towel service at the gym and it is WORTH. EVERY. PENNY.

Efficiency doesn't stop at bag organization & the "big bag o' beauty;" I even worked on streamlining the showering process. I figured that the most efficient way to do this would be to use a 2-in-1 shampoo and use the gym soap provided in the dispensers that hang on the shower stall walls. So all I would need to bring into the shower with me was 1 bottle, my poofie, & towels. Sounds good, right? Well, it was efficient, but it didn't quite work out the way I had intended.

Which brings me to the related story...

Aunt Bossy Learns to Brush Her Hair

You think I'm kidding, but that's only because you haven't seen my hair-impairedness up close. Just ask Juliemom about watching me attempt to use a curling iron, NOT REALIZING I was turning it backwards and putting an oh-so-attractive crease in the middle of my bangs. Oh yes--after laughing in a very helpful manner, she did show me the correct way to curl my hair. Not that I can remember now, since I haven't attempted that particular feat of vanity in years.

So anyway, I decided that I needed shorter hair so I could get ready faster: less hair = less drying time = more efficiency. So I went and got a cute bob that of course looked fabulous when my hairdresser styled it and used a flat iron. So I go about to achieve close to the same look--clearly I'm not going to bust out with a flat iron, but if I use my circular brush & blow dry it, it should be OK, right? That worked before when I had longer hair.

Well, it didn't work that way. My hair is thick, which I know. Turns out that when my hair was longer, the weight of it would pull it flat & smooth and it didn't really matter what sort of hair products I used. I was also in the habit of washing it every other day, so as not to over-wash & strip the oils. Well, every-other day doesn't work when one is sweating every morning, so now I'm washing it every day. And it's short & thick and I'm using 2-in-1 shampoo for efficiency, remember? Despite all of my efforts with mousse and styling products that claim to tame frizz and using a round brush when blow-drying and even BUSTING OUT WITH THE FLAT IRON, my hair looks like dark brown hay that hasn't been combed in days.

(Attempted re-enactment; it was WAY worse, trust me.)

Now, I'm not a primp-and-preen girly-girl type, but this was BAD. Like, unacceptably bad. So I called the salon and scheduled a follow-up appointment. I sat in the chair and described the problems I was having--not that I needed to explain much, since she could clearly see the results. The first thing she asked was what type of shampoo I was using; when I told her, she replied "Well, there's your first problem!" Then she grabbed the brush & hair dryer and demonstrated how to first use a flat brush to begin the smoothing process as you dry the roots, then follow it up with the round brush, drying the hair in sections.

I guess holding my head upside down so I could dry the roots wasn't helping my cause either. Oops.

So after she demonstrated, she handed the tools to me and had me practice. There I am, in the beautician's chair, a holder of a master's degree & two teaching certificates, being taught HOW TO BRUSH MY HAIR. Then I bought good shampoo & styling goop & two professional-type brushes and prepared to tackle the mane on my own. And I didn't do too badly! Can I even tell you how many times I heard "Aunt Bossy--you got your hair cut! It looks nice!" over the next few days? And I'd had the haircut for TWO WEEKS already. So I'm getting faster at it and learning that I have to dry my hair COMPLETELY or it frizzes out a little on me. But on the whole, I'm doing OK. There's hope for me yet, it appears.



I may even conquer the curling iron someday...